"Pray and wait...wait till the back of the yard caves in....wait till we can't take everything out?" Those of you who know me know that I like to plan. I like to know what comes next. So this kind of response was not so comforting.
As the day went on the tension in my heart increased. I prayed, yes, but it was more of a "God what are doing" kind of prayer.
To be honest, when we first built this house I was ashamed of it. I often complained about it being too big and too nice. On several occasions I asked Buddy if we could sell it or even tear it down and start over. We have prayed about it many times.
I clearly remembering complaining about it to my sister, Lissette, last Christmas while she was here visiting. I can still hear her sarcastic response to my complaints. "Wow, sis you and I have very different gods. When my God gives me a gift it is always better than I imagined. He continually gives me beautiful and good things." I remember being rebuked. I remember wrestling with the concept that if I was not suffering I was not truly giving my all or serving to the fullest.
During my months in the states God worked in my heart to be thankful for our nice home. I began to see it as a refuge. A wonderful place to host and show Peruvians as well as Americans God's love and kindness.
When I arrived to Puerto Maldonado two weeks ago I was overwhelmed with God's goodness.
I loved, and love, everything about it, even the frogs, geckos, and little sugar ants (though I did not mention rats and other creatures on purpose).
But God is more interested in my heart and where I have my trust in than in my comfort. He is my Refuge! He is my mighty Fortress!
Last night during ladies bible study we studied Psalm 46, and verse 2 especially stood out to me:
Oh, how God used it to calm my anxious heart.
The truth is that God does give us good things. I have seen it over and over in my life. God loves to give us more than we even ask. He loves to bless us, but He also wants me to know the source. To love Him more than those wonderful gifts. So while I have the house I will glorify Him and use it for Him and if He chooses to relocate me I will glorify Him and serve Him joyfully....
Because His glory is the big picture. My life here on earth is just a vapor that He controls by His grace to show forth His glory. So please pray with me and for me that I would exalt Him so that others around Him may know that He is God.
p.s. We do have a more detailed plan ;)
p.p.s. Praising God that it didn't rain last night!